Night Night

With the number of years piling up after my stint as a teenager, i have unwittingly stumbled headlong into the mid-twenties range with no idea how adulthood is supposed to be like and with absolutely no tools equipped to handle it.

As with many incidences that happened in my past, i have somehow went along with the situation without trying hard enough to direct the current and just end up getting swept away... totally submerged and helpless to the throes of negative emotions and thoughts.

I blame it on my lack of abilities... i lack the resourcefulness to being independent, i lack energy and drive, i lack extrovert-ism in my communication, skills that i never did picked up along life but constantly being reminded of time and time again. So i sink, deeper and deeper within a consciousness that's much too aware but always stubbornly refusing to acknowledge.

I have some shining stars though... without whom i may not have made it thru the night and into the bright sunshine. The one beside me now is definitely my Venus and i will always treasure it's twilight glow illuminating incandescence into my heart. Although i may appear not show it at times but i do treasure this star of mine. I will stay aglow, for life is suddenly more with you around.

Small Repairs, Burning Bridges.

It's a quite a journey, the past few months. Lots of changes in my life, lots of new situations, lots of new emotions that i have to deal with.

Imagine a man living in the centre of a lake. While he is busy making small repairs to the house, a wild fire is burning and catches on to the only bridge that connects him to the outside world. So engrossed with his work he did not discover the burning bridge until it is too late.

I think i am that man of late. Sorry to the people i've hurt or offended, i have been so selfishly engrossed in trying to improve myself that i did not see the needs of the people surrounding me. In the end, i still end up hurting myself.

When will the pain end?