Thankful

Christmas is coming soon and everyone's scurrying around. Making plans, having parties, buying presents. Feels like it's all too soon, i wanna hide underneath the blanket and wait for it to ride over... guess i'm becoming one of those anti-xmas types.

What i do believe in though is Thanksgiving, i believe in being grateful with what life has given me and i am extremely lucky to have made three new friends during that low low period of my life. I think it's time to give a proper thanks to these people.

First up is XE, for the mindless banters and chats on msn. Thanks for providing me an escape from my own thoughts and for allowing me to be silly. The unlikeliest of friends but strangely we gel, okay, maybe not that much in person, haha, but yeah, i really enjoy our msn sessions. It reminds me of a different side of myself that i haven't seen in a very long time and you reminds me of myself in certain ways, a younger, more upbeat and zany character with a devil-may-care attitude to life. Thanks for allowing me to realize that all is not lost and for resurfacing that little part of myself that holds the magical sparkle in my eyes.

Then there's CFRD, another out of this world character, at least from my universe. Definitely the most unlikeliest of friends but somehow we became, guess chance and circumstance really came into play here. Your friendship and company is like a much needed whiff of fresh air into my then otherwise dull and depressive state of affairs. Thanks for making me realize that the man i love was actually never in love with me in the first place. It's a painful lesson to learn but something i needed to know in order for me to move on.. and only you were able to show me that. The irony of it all, yes, in my spite and anger, i would've liked to see the expression on his face if he comes to know. Now that the feelings are muted, i don't really care.. and there's less talk about him so a shift in our dynamics was a definite course of action. We have created a friendship out of that strange bond, for that i am thankful. At least some good came out of it eh? Lol. Though lately there's been certain problems and doubts but i certainly do not want to give up on this friendship, time will be a good factor to judge all things. Here's to 2009.

Lastly there's Ginger. Thanks for making me believe in love again, although at the moment i am incapable of showing any. We are still pretty far from anything but to have the opportunity of knowing you, i really have to thank the angels above for looking after me. Your companionship is sincerely appreciated, so much so that at times i worry about hurting you instead. Thanks for entrusting me with your confidence and for allowing me to be your confidant. I look forward to what the next year will bring forth for us. =)

So there, the three people who will end my 2008 with a blast. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Memories

Nearly lost my phone a couple days ago but thankfully the cab driver who found my handphone returned it to me. During the couple of hours that i had time to reflect, i came to the conclusion that although the lost of contact would really be troublesome, the one thing that will really be painful to part with was a video clip that i hadn't managed to back up on my computer yet... my awkward auntie voice saying, "sing louder huh..", your tiny slitted eyes, the furry white bianca, the twinkling snowflake hanging on your mirror, our road trip moment.. never would i have thought then it would end, all at the crashing moment.

The memories, together with others, i'm slowing laying them to rest. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, feelings fade but memories remain.

Two Exhibitions

It has been a while since i've involved myself with any form of photography. Mainly because of my sense of inferiority that distanced myself from this passion of mine. Chance would have it that these two exhibitions approach me, beckoning me to look, feel and connect with the images presented.

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Doubleness - Chang Chien-Chi

A documentary photographer, Chang Chien-Chi explores the view of human connectivity in an assortment of projects spanning over countries and over time.

What really touches me about his works is the raw, unabashed look that splays all across the photography. Not some cutting edge grit nor candy floss pretty, it just simply exists in its form, naked to the beholder.

Many thoughts were conjured in my mind as i looked over the photographs through the carefully planned space and lighting constructed to accommodate this exhibition. Emotions surged within my soul as i observed the "The Chain". Moving from one picture to another, my mind was in overload when i suddenly turned around to notice the life size portraits encompassing the entire art space, the magnitude overwhelms me.

The idea of distance between human; the mental, physical, emotional and spiritual aspects of it... just like a mantra i have been repeating to myself again and again, "You are not two souls intertwine but two souls inter-related..." Sigh, how i long to find a complete image of love and not just doubleness of a fragment (of that elusive image).

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Voom - Robert Wilson

I came across the interview with Robert Wilson on Prime Time Morning while traveling to work one day. A renowned theatre director, Robert Wilson was always fascinated by portraits, partly due to his lineage to a long line of painters in his family.

Not having the talents of paintbrush and canvas board, Robert took the idea of portraits to the next level. By incorporating his knowledge of lighting and drama while using the medium of film. he create moving stills, live portraits of well known socialites in various forms of pose. While some remain still as a monolith to the unobservant, others playfully tempt and tease with unexpected movements and antics.

Colours in the portraits are vivid and rich, the composition flawless and the lighting spectacular. Backgrounds were used specifically to tastefully accentuate or compliment the subject matter. It is exactly this kind of photography that i would aspire to achieve... to create a world full of memorable colours and cheeky expressions.

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I'm not going into details here because i have been known to be long-winded but more importantly, whoever out there that is reading this... i would want you to go experience it for yourself, for my craftsmanship in writing can never do justice to the individual artist's work. My words are merely a window into my own experience. Now what your soul yearns to do is to experience for itself.

What i will leave behind is my favourite piece of art there, 'Boris'.

For... i am a tickling beauty in the form of a prickly cutie. =P

Eternity

You'll be there... always away from me.
And i'll be here, always a distance from you.

"You were there for summer dreaming,
And you gave me what I need.
And I hope you'll find your freedom,
For eternity, for eternity."

I can finally feel the distance between us..
and this image is the perfect reflection of how i feel now.
The loneliness is getting easier to deal with
and i am finally embracing my independence.
The nightmares have finally faded away into the dark recess of my mind
while the siren's song of reminiscence, of love so pure and true, i can no longer hear...
I'm sadden by this fact but you would be glad to know,
I have finally moved on.