Something horrible happened earlier this week.. so disgusting and vile, it leaves a bitter taste in my throat. Perhaps i'm still reeling from it. I feel like i'm halfway through a bungee jump, suspended in mid-air, time standing chillingly still as i hear my own heart beating... and strangely it's beating as it should, no faster nor slower then it used to, and i wonder..
I now wonder whether things would be better off if it just ended the way it should... a simple keep in touch, constant flirting on msn whenever bored, an occasional call when either one is feeling mischievous... that'll probably save a lot of heartache and pain.
I wonder... of all the ones out there, some worse, some better, some cuter, some uglier, some fitter, some chubbier, some younger, some older... why me... why am i the one to be chosen?
After all the horror of the week... i am alone, i should be peaceful and content but no... i don't feel that way. I am numb by it all, my energy draining in an excruciating slow trickle... by unanswered questions, unresolved issues and oh, my favourite poison of late... sweet sweet jealousy.
Welcome back, Jasca. The blues you've been singing shall finally be heard.
Sigh.. I long to return to simpler times..
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